Ross and Rachel
by AHigherOctave
Summary: They're kind of like Ross and Rachel from Friends. The thing is, they're not though. And they really need to stop pretending. AU.


Ross and Rachel

They're kind of like Ross and Rachel from Friends.

He loved her from afar for so long, patiently waiting his turn as she kissed the cute but handsy Italian foreign exchange student and finds another date to prom. Except he doesn't have to wait seven years after high school for her, he kisses another girl in front of her at the end of junior year. And she realizes she's in love with him, just like that, out of jealousy and loneliness and all the other wrong reasons. He accepts her though, despite being committed to someone else. And he kisses her in the rain outside our usual hang out, in that perfect movie way that never happens for normal people.

And I'm just his Phoebe.

You make him laugh so much harder than her, you spend so much time with him just trying to make him realize that he's special and that he's worth so much more than she'll ever see. He doesn't care though, not the way you'd like him to. He just worships the ground her big ugly feet walk on. He hardly remembers the night you got drunk for the first time on the beach and almost lost your virginity to him. And when he does he regrets it. It doesn't matter that you were really there first. It only matters that she's everything he ever wanted, especially when she puts that blond wig on.

There are times you're hopeful, from that one kiss to the time when they break up the night of their first anniversary. You can hear them fighting from her back door when you get back from the mall a week later, you stay all night to hear how he slept with another girl. How it was all a mistake. And she doesn't care. She still can't forgive him.

So he spends all his time with you, you apply to all the same colleges. You go to New York City together. She follows you there though, somehow unaware of your hate for her. She thinks you're her best friend. She moves in with you. And for a while, nothing happens. Bitter words pass between them and he finally gets his doctorate.

Two of your best friends, Jackson and Sarah, get engaged. He's the best man, she's maid of honor. And suddenly she's pregnant with his child. The stupid whore. And you're in the delivery room right after she's born. You see the way she looks at him, at the baby that should have been yours. You watch his mother give him the family engagement ring, which no-one but you would ever dream you'd ever want.

You watch from the crack open in the door as another man proposes and she says yes. And you feel such relief wash over you. You always thought those two would work together, but you never thought he'd let her go long enough for someone else to come in. She breaks it off two hours later, blames it on hormones. He forgives her, even though all she's ever been is hormones and you don't think giving birth is really an excuse.

Two years later she decides to leave the city, to tour Europe. Now that Hannah's got her pre-baby bod back she's sick of hiding. She wants more than him but he doesn't seem to get it. He runs through the airport, after you purposely drive him to the wrong one and make up some bullshit story you thought even she wouldn't be stupid enough to believe. Thank god, she leaves him anyways, and you hug him as he cries. "Ssh," you tell him, rubbing his back. "You deserve so much better."

That night while you're celebrating the birth of Sarah and Jackson's son, she gets to him though. She shows up in his apartment. She couldn't leave him without telling him she loved him too. They aren't going to mess up anymore, he claims, they're gonna be together. And they are so far.

So you kiss him on the cheek, savoring your last moment. Despite how long and hard you might have fought her off, she won. You're just his friend. And apparently nothing will be enough to change that, no matter how true your love for him is. You'll always be his skater girl from Malibu, who he barely counts as a girl even when he's practically fucking you. You're just his Lilly.

* * *

They're kind of like Ross and Rachel. She's the golden girl from their high school, and he's just the AV nerd. She didn't even notice him back then, she hardly gives him enough now, but she still can't quite let go of him.

And I'm just her Joey.

She had a crush on you first. She liked your smile, you even kissed a couple times, but she thought you were a player so she just blamed it on the drinking. Even when you know for a fact she hadn't done any.

So when they get together junior year, and you come back from your latest gig in England for the new Batman film to find her in his arms. And you're ditzy but deep blond friend crushed. You let her lean on you, use your cheap tomato sauce stained shirt as a tissue. And wonder why you're all with the wrong people. They're sickeningly cute when they get together. They get voted class couple. You can always find them on the beach feeding each other ice cream, so you use your gushy sci-fi meets romance novel of a TV show to sleep with random beach chicks. And every once in a while, when you disappear onto the sand to fuck you see her watching you over his shoulder while he orders fries and your heart stops. Then you know for sure that you haven't moved on.

They break up while you're doing press for your romantic comedy with Mikayla in New York. She decides to do a world tour, and he comes out to the big city with his little surfer friend. We're all so happy, watching reruns of shows that were bad in the first place and ordering takeout. And you actually grow to like him.

When she arrives in the city, ready to settle down and try her hand at design she stays across the hall from you and she still hates him. You have this overwhelming surge of hope. Especially when she casually refers to you as "my" or "sweetie" even though she means it in more of a puppy way.

After your friends hook up, her brother and the weird smart girl from high school. She moves in with you to satisfy your need for a roommate. You know that her friend has been dying to get rid of her anyways. You think she starts to really understand you. That you aren't just some pretty face on the big screen that you have doubts and fears, and you really want to be normal sometimes even if you do get caught in your own eyes.

Jackson proposes to Sarah. And he isn't even there to screw up the joy you feel at a group hug. They set the date, Sarah obsesses over the details. You perform the ceremony, and out of the corner of your eye you see that she's crying. She tells you Lilly's pregnant when you ask, and you ask about the father. She just shrugs, and you wonder, if only, it could be him. So you propose half heartedly to Lilly, she says yes. You wish you could take it back. About five minutes later Sarah tells you it's her and your heart drops.

Still, you beat him to her and propose again. She doesn't say yes. You laugh it off, say something about food. They don't get back together. And when she's almost ready to pop you confess that you're in love with her. "I love you," After she says it that once there's never hope for you again, every moment is grueling agony from the time three seconds later she says, "But…" And you hold her while she cries, because you really love her. That means no matter how it might hurt, you have to wipe up her tears and try to make sure they're never, ever because of you.

You propose by accident again when she gives birth. You really meant not to pressure her. The box just drops out of his coat though. And then she says yes, you aren't really ready to get married but you'll do anything to make her happy. She calls it off less then twenty-four hours later. She's living with him now, not as a couple, but so they can raise the baby with both parents. If only you'd walked into the apartment that night she was horny, would it have made a difference?

She shows up on your doorstep with the baby not too long later. And you try to hide your smile as you watch her walk back into her old room. It's almost like you're all a family now. And you think she might be falling for you too this time. In Florida she kisses you of her own will. You can't remember ever feeling so lucky.

Not too much later she gets scared though, and tells you that you're better off friends. You let her have her space. They say if you love something you let it go. She doesn't come back to you. She says she'll leave the country to tour. You plan to shoot your next film in Paris, to be with her again. She stays instead.

So she drives you to the airport, and you hug her goodbye in the rain. You don't come back after you shoot the movie. You go to LA. The market's better out there. That's not the reason though. It's because you're just her Joey. The guy she loves, as a friend. The guy she thinks is dreamy and romantic and sweet, but she's too afraid to be with. She loves him, but she could love you more if she took a chance for once in her life. You're only Jake.

* * *

They're kind of like Ross and Rachel. They've definitely got the whole _will they, won't they_ thing going on. They have a child together, but they seem to have a hard time actually staying in that place. Together.

The thing is, they aren't Ross and Rachel though. And they really need to stop pretending. Sarah and I can't keep supporting her and Emily when they have a fight every other month and she decides to stay with us rather than breathing the same air as Jake out in LA or encroaching on Lilly and Lucas when I think she knows somewhere deep down her best friend has always hated her. She needs to realize we have three kids of our own now to take care of and she can't keep acting like a baby. He needs to realize whether he can stand her or not he has to get along with her for their daughter's sake. That it's not right to put their kid in the middle of their little mind games. They won't though. They want to live in a movie, and we don't.

They're just Miley and Oliver. And they can't deal with it.

**AN: **It just came to me the other night, and I thought I'd type it up and see how it turned out. I like it. I hate myself for writing it in some ways, but I like it none-the-less.

In other news, you can find the link to my new writing LJ in my profile. Ooo…so check it out.


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